Midnight

I am the last wish of the bachelor.
Never to be had until the time has past,
Never wanted until it is impossible to be wanted.
I am the dream from the Past,
What was desired before.
There have been others, of course,
But you’ve always wondered.
What would it be like?
What would I be like, taste like.
You wanted to know, once upon a time.
But then I was filed away,
Lost under “What If”,
Never to be thought of again.
Until I was.

For some reason, we start talking again.
Something brings us back.
And then, in the midst of banter, honesty.
I wanted so badly to touch you.
I had to stop myself kissing you.
I’m glad we got all this out.
Me, too.
Then we smile.
Arms out – friends?
The hug is never awkward until it is.
We’ve always been comfortable with each other,
This feeling grows.

Mistletoe, Sorry, Texts – they can all be blamed
But not forgotten.
We look at each other, knowing,
This has to stop.

A kiss, I’m sorry, a kiss.
“At least I hadn’t kissed her.”
My Shannon.
What are you, meth?
Stay with me tonight.
I shouldn’t have.
I have a girlfriend now.

I am the fantasy from the past.
I am the mystery, the answer to your “What If”.
The one that you’ll never know.
I am the one who let you use me to find out.
And now I am just a file in the back of your mind.
The mystery gone, I can be forgotten again.
Life goes on because it has to.

For a moment, I was wanted, I was desired.
For that moment I was all you thought of.
And in a heartbeat, it was over,
Never to happen again.

Until another comes along.
Until the next bachelor remembers me.
I’ll know it’s wrong, but it feels so good.

And another piece of my heart will break.